Episode 13: My good, bad, funny for 2024 (solocast).

Show notes.

On this solocast, Rick reflects back on the year that was looking at what was good, what was bad and what was funny. This is often the question he asks his son Finn when he gets home from school, but also seemed like a good way to break up the year.

While you are listening, you may also consider what your good, bad and funny have been this year. Leave a comment below to share as I would love to hear yours.

If you would like to support the podcast, just click the follow button, leave a review and share the podcast with a friend.

I appreciate your attention over this year.

Connect with Rick: ⁠https://www.rickwatson.com.au⁠

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/rickwatson_/

Keywords

podcast, reflection, personal growth, challenges, humor, therapy, relationships, life lessons, storytelling, self-discovery

Transcript

Hello and welcome to humaning. I am sitting here with myself. And that's funny because this morning I was sitting here with Claire Baker and we recorded a really fucking good episode.

And, was one of those conversations where you, you walk away and go, yeah, that was really good. was like, that was really flowy. it was, think we covered some good shit and, bounce off each other. And yeah, it was really fun episode and I was really looking forward to getting it out. And then when I uploaded the, the recording, I discovered that the audio, because the internet dropped out, was lost from the six minute mark onwards.

So I had a six minute audio of a hundred and well, a 90 minute conversation. And so yeah, here I am doing a solo cast. think they're called, which is code for putting something out when your audio fucks up, when you've already planned to put something out.

No, I actually wanted to do something like this at the end of the year anyway. So it kind of just gave me an opportunity to be like, well, if I'm not going to put that out this week, I'll jump on and do the solo cast. So here we are. I'm, I've booked Claire in for next week. So we will continue. We will have that conversation for the second time. And, most of the time, if I've ever done anything like this, it's, it's worked out to be better. So.

It's frustrating right now, but I'm sure it'll work out to be a, a good conversation when we rehab it. That's funny. trust me, I wasn't laughing about two hours ago. So yeah, I thought, this, well, it's like the 13th of December right now. So I thought I'd just record a short one, as opposed to like a whole hour and just.

Rick Solocast (02:14.096)

reflect back on the year a little bit. And yeah, I guess the other thing with that is like it potentially gives you the opportunity to do the same. So when I was thinking about how to do this,

I've realised this year that I don't work best when I'm really structured. So I've got a thing that I do with Finn, my son, when he comes home from school and he's getting older. So we don't do it that often now. And it's what we call good, bad, funny. So what was good for the day, what was bad for the day what was funny. I just find that's a really nice balanced way to have a conversation about just regular shit that happened in your day. And often it's more of like a

conversation door opener and it'll lead to other stuff. And, probably more so now when I'm taking him back to his mom's after being a week with me, it'll be a good, bad, funny for the week and we'll sum up our week that way. So we've always just used as a bit of a way to, reflect back. And I just thought it'd be a cool way to re reflect back on a whole year is to, to do a good, bad, funny for the year.

So that's what we're going to do today. Or that's what I'm going to do. yeah, I invite you to see what bits of my story are true for you. See what bits of my story are not true for you and how you're different. But also just to think about, know, what was good for you this year? What did suck for you this year? And what was actually really funny or really fun? And what made you laugh and what made you smile? And I just...

I like the balance of those three things. So I've got no idea where this is going and I'm just going to freestyle it and yeah, let me know in the comments, if you're on Spotify or YouTube, if you enjoy this type of thing. cause yeah, it's, I might do more of it. I have enjoyed with the podcast and I think that's, I'll jump into the good and I'll start with the podcast. The podcast has been.

Rick Solocast (04:28.144)

It's also been funny. I tend to laugh a lot on here and tend to laugh a lot of myself, but with the podcast, I find that there's some security in having someone else here. Cause I get to not, well, maybe I do get to hide behind my questions. but I get to choose if I insert myself in the conversation or bring anything of mine. So when that other person's not here, like now I've kind of just got to.

trust that whatever's going to come out is going to come out and that's okay. So yeah, I think, I've learned a lot from, think it's, it's in my category of good has been one thing that's been good this year has been starting this podcast. it's taught me when I kind of let go of the structure and the agenda and all the rest of it has taught me that,

It's okay just to show up and see what unfolds. I've really, really enjoyed that aspect of it. And I think I rabbit on about that all the time on here. So you're probably sick of me saying that, but yeah, I think, it's also been a nice reflection of life of like, can I not over plan things? Can I not,

have that perfection of streak to make sure everything is hyper controlled and hyper planned and micro managed. So yeah, this, this podcast has allowed me to do that and, given me some evidence that some cool things can emerge when we just give it enough space. yeah, this podcast has definitely been a, a good, a positive this year. I think it's also showed me that,

It's okay to have a voice and you're not going to get shot down. There was a little part of me that, I was actually talking to Claire about this today, which you'll never hear cause there's no audio, but we were kind of talking about, the balance between pride and shame. And in her, her story was that she was really good academic when she was young and she ended up like. Taming that and not, not exposing that part of her because.

Rick Solocast (06:48.496)

She didn't want to be seen as too smart or too much or, and she's like, I had this fine balance between pride and shame. And I'm thinking about that contrast. I'm like, I think I have a version of that because I do remember when I was a teenager, I'm going to phrase it under like talking myself up. was like sharing some shit that I'd done. And when you're a teenager, that can be, you know, the whole tall poppy thing in Australia can be shot down. And I did get shot down.

And it got pointed out that I do do that a bit. So I think I went to from the pride part to the shame part and just kind of not withdrew, but, consciously didn't share as much as I would have in the past. And it wasn't until I was speaking to Claire this morning that I was like, yeah, like that's still a thing for me because I think about what that looks like now. And the podcast is a good expression of that. It's like, it's maybe okay to.

maybe have some pride about what's happening versus some shame about sharing it. So on that front, it's been really cool and enjoyable and it probably also fits into the funny category because I have laughed a lot on here. That feels good. The other thing that's been really good this year has been my partner Joe moving up, moving in and

for us to start a life together. And how much do I say about that? I won't say much just out of respect for everyone involved, but yeah, it's just been really cool to find a human that I can share my life with in a way that feels really connected.

yeah. And also just to see how willing and able she's been to fit into, you know, living here with Finn and to create a fun household. I don't think I'm speaking out of turn here, but she's like attempting to be more of a big sister, fun sister, than a step mom. And that, that fits in really well with our house. And so, yeah, I think having Joe here.

Rick Solocast (09:15.904)

while it's come with, there's been some challenges, of course, but it has been a really enjoyable part of this year. yeah, I think I'll leave that there cause there's probably, we might even jump on a podcast and do something together. and then she can, she can speak to that. this was a weird one. One of the best parts of my year has been,

being forced to do therapy all year. So part of my study in gestalt therapy this year, I did my first year in that. And, one of the prerequisites is that you do a minimum of 10 hours on, if you want to do the elective, you can do 20 hours of therapy, with a gestalt therapist, I need to work on your shit, but also to experience the modality in practice firsthand as a client.

And, I got really excited about that because I, I learned more about, I learned more by watching others do it. Then I do about reading about it. Probably not alone there. And, yeah, I, I'd done a fair bit of work on myself over the last four or five years. So I thought I'd,

For a done.

I thought I'd cover most of the stuff I needed to cover. Obviously there was a lot of work on like integrating it and when it popped up again, how would I deal with it? All of that stuff. But I didn't think there was anything new. then, yeah, in therapy this year, there's just, there was some stuff that came up from what I thought was unrelated, but it came back to this core thing around how much of myself I hid, with my epilepsy.

Rick Solocast (11:16.302)

and what was the knock-on effect of how I behaved because I had it and because I wanted to hide it and prove to people that I wasn't broken. And there was a part of me that knew that existed, but I think I'd been so good at pushing it down that this year in therapy, I got to bring it back up and feel all the emotions of those different times and see how it was still impacting my present day.

I put it in the good category because I feel so much fucking lighter that I have let this part out. And I have, I think I've spoken about it a bit on here as well, but the last week of our last weekend of our study was a storytelling weekend and we had to share a 20, 30 minute story about ourselves. And I chose to share about this part, like living with epilepsy and essentially I was telling that story for the first time in public.

But it came with a caveat of like, knew these people, I trusted them, felt safe, all of that. So that experience of sharing that hidden part of me to a group was, fucking powerful. And it's ultimately led to the evidence of it being safe for me to do that. And which has led to more acceptance of that part of me, which has led to a lightening.

I still notice even this week, my body's been a bit grumpy. I've got some joint pain and a few things going on. And I can jump to the conclusion of frustration and resentment to my body, but it's actually got a lot to do with my core feelings around epilepsy and the relationship I have with my body. I'm, I'm, learning to map out what's.

current and what's old a little bit more through the benefit of therapy this year. And that's just been the word I think I use is like, it's, makes me feel lighter. so that's definitely been a big tick this year, without going into too much depth. what else? think studying in general has been a really good part of this year.

Rick Solocast (13:33.612)

I feel like I've found a modality, a practice philosophy that really speaks to who I am as a person. And I feel really comfortable and at home in doing it. And yeah, the little inner nerd in me gets to jump into the book part of it and the academic writing part of it. And I get to practice in real time with my group, with my men's circle and with some, clients that

You know, we're in dialogue consistently. So yeah, I've noticed this year it's felt really supportive to feel like I'm part of something bigger. And think that's what I got from the residential was I feel like I'm part of something bigger with just adult therapy. And, know, now the next three years will be our masters and yeah, I'm noticing this year how much of an impact it's had on my practice, on my coaching practice, which feels funny to use the word coaching. Cause actually I don't.

feel like it's coaching at all. It feels more therapeutic than coaching, but until I am that qualified therapist, I'll just, I'll stick with the coaching title. I think that's important. but no, the studying part has,

Yeah, I really love learning and this just give me a, a main line of learning that has a constant flow through everything I'm doing at the moment. So that feels good. I think the other thing that's been really good this year has been, and I'm sure all parents say this, but watching my son evolve into the human that he's becoming has probably been one of the highlights of the year for me.

And I'm constantly in awe of the human that he is. And it sounds funny and he's so different to me. I don't think it's like a, he's a younger version of me thing. Cause there's definitely not that he's so unique and has so many characteristics that I don't have. And that's the part that I'm in awe of actually love his, his differentiation from the world.

Rick Solocast (15:46.336)

And, his ability to be his own person and do it his way and feel into what feels good, what doesn't. It's just fucking impressive for a 15 year old to all this at those qualities. And, and he's really growing into being a young man. So he's, he's funny and he's committed and he's got good friendship circles and, it's a fun time and I'm super stoked to, to be on the ride with him and get to.

spend time with him and, and yeah, hear how his world operates. So that's been probably a really good thing. that's, think there'd been my goods. kind of. Podcasts, relationship, studying therapy, watching Finn. and I guess my work as a whole this year, so like the coaching and the men's circle, I'm just.

I've found like, I've felt like my feet are on a solid foundation with that. more so than in the past. So, you know, that, that imposter, archetype is slowly drifting away into the background. Like I'm feeling, I'm feeling much more capable at the end of this year than I did at the start of this year, which is nice to notice. So yeah, my work's been feeling good. So yeah, they're, they're kind of the things that were like, it's.

And if I look back at that, like that's a really good collection of good things. and yeah, I'm stoked with that. Like I feel like it's been a transformative year with the culmination of those, those things. So that's cool. All right. Let's swing into the bad. And it's really like how deep down the world you want to go with this. but I.

It's more around like, where did my stress come from?

Rick Solocast (17:46.608)

And...

I'm also going to be super respectful of speaking about my own experience and not speaking about anyone else. So I'll just lay that out for the bad bits. But I think probably the biggest challenge this year for me has been housing uncertainty. So trying to sell a house in the buyback scheme and that being delayed and all that sort of thing. And then not knowing what it can do to move forward and renting and the rent.

needing to end at some stage and move and then buying a house and.

the uncertainty of, you know, this year I chose to kind of work part time so I could study and I'm supported by Joe to do that. And the reality of getting finance to buy a house when we're kind of both working part time and sole traders and that's been collectively a stressful thing. And like, I'm just not that good with that part of life anyway.

And it's all fine. Like it's all ended up fine. But when I was in it, it was all consuming and it was stressful and it took a toll on my mental state and my work and my physical health and all of it. So yeah, I really feel for anyone, especially in this area who's been affected by the floods with the whole housing uncertainty thing, cause it's been kind of, you know, three years, three years in February.

Rick Solocast (19:25.784)

in regards to the flood here and it's had a long standing impact and probably will continue to in this area. And yeah, I've experienced my version of that and I'm really grateful that we, the end product was that we could buy a house and next year move into that and not have next year be filled with housing uncertainty and housing finance. And instead I'm sure there'll be some other things that pop up.

But yeah, that's probably been the biggest one. The other one I'm probably going to phrase as the speed humps of separation. Yeah, my ex-wife and I have been separated for, again, it'll be kind of maybe it's two and a half years. And it's just, you know, for everyone that's been through that experience, it's not a flat, smooth road.

various

various circumstances and various stresses pop different things up. I think it's that's been a real struggle for me personally this year. What I have learned about that. And that's been something that I'm really grateful the whole process. there's a gecko. What role did I play in that in regards to it being dramatic at all being peaceful?

So when things were really activated and there was a lot of emotional energy and all that stuff was learning to go, okay, what role am I playing in this? And being able to be not defensive, like to drop the defenses and to acknowledge that I'm flawed and I respond in reactive ways and actually kind of owning the shitty parts of me.

Rick Solocast (21:24.984)

Because what I realized was like there was some stuff sneaking out from my end that was affecting my piece. It was creating drama and I was instigating it, but I was happily defending it because I was stuck in an old pattern. So yeah, it's interesting to think about the role that we play in the dramas of our life, just as a general rule.

What I've learned this year is that, especially in that scenario, I played a pretty big role in the drama of my life and I could do it in a different way that was more respectful and more communicative and all the things. And yeah, it's not a smooth road, but I can make it smoother for me and my piece if I choose to. So that's been a nice lesson from the...

or call the speed humps of separation. What else? I think the other thing I've struggled with this year is just my dad not being here.

Rick Solocast (22:40.344)

And yeah, think anyone who's lost a parent knows that it's, you know, it's one of those things that you don't really know what it feels like until it happens. And, you know, I think about all those things that I just mentioned before, those good things that happened this year. And it makes me fucking sad that I didn't get to share those with my dad. you know, he never got to meet Joe and I think they would have hit it off.

And just little things like that. you know, study business house, fin all of it, like just life in general. I'm just, I, it's, it's sad that I don't get to share that stuff with him. So that's been a, bit of a constant as things have unfolded and things have been achieved and things have happened in life. It'd be like, this is the time where I would have called dad and shared it with him. And.

that has kind of sucked and there's no way around it, but it feels good to give voice to it, rather than push it away and pretend that it's not real. So yeah, that's kind of my, my bad for the, I think like the housing uncertainty, the, you know, what role do I play in my own piece?

I guess the financial stress of, you know, trying to get a house when we're sole traders, that was a pretty big one. And yeah, just not being here.

Rick Solocast (24:16.432)

It's funny, like my perspective on that, when I'm in it, and I'm probably sure that you can relate to this, when I'm in it, I feel like I'm stuck in the mud, as in the mud is quicksand kind of thing. But when I'm out of it, and when I can look back and be like, that did suck, but I got this beautiful gift from it. What was the gift? So yeah, I think.

in our bad, I'm talking to all of us here, if we can zoom out once we kind of maybe pass through it or as we move further down the path and reflect back, I think that's really valuable in regards to what, what did we learn? Like, what did I learn about myself? How did I fuck up? Can you have some ownership on, on, you know, noticing these parts that, you know, may have been your responsibility and my responsibilities and how you responded to other people. So yeah, I just think.

I think the good is good, but I think the bad can offer some real gold in us learning about ourselves as we move forward into next year. Like how can I learn from my bad this year and do it differently for next year if the similar things pop up? Like that's the kind of stuff that I really think can, what's the word, quantify these bad experiences that can make them useful.

Yeah. All right. I don't want to rabbit on too much about that. Cause I feel like that's a whole nother podcast and we're getting up to the 25 minute mark. So funny. What was funny this year? I laugh a lot in my work and some of my work's pretty heavy, but I actually think that there's some real benefit in bringing a lightness to the heaviness.

And I don't know what my clients and the men in circle think about how I do that. Cause they might be really offended, but no one's walked out on me because I've laughed at their shit. But I just think sometimes our human condition can make us do things that are fucking hilarious and absurd. And sometimes the only thing that we can do is laugh at them. And then after we've laughed at it, you know,

Rick Solocast (26:46.842)

build awareness and acceptance and the fucking things that we do. But sometimes it's just funny. It's just like, fuck, can't believe I did that. Can't believe you did that. Yeah. I was watching a thing on Instagram the other day and it was like things I want to say as a therapist. And it was like a mock thing and it was hilarious. It was like, yeah, you really fucked that up or you put your foot in it there or.

Just stuff that you'd never say as a therapist, but yeah, I'm not that bad. I don't do that and my foot in it, but I do openly laugh about circumstances of life and not specifically personally at anyone, but just.

I feel like if we can't bring a little bit of hilarity to our world, then we're going to all be really fucking serious. And I think that's carried on from running the gym and just trying to make hard stuff fun. And I don't kind of see therapy much differently. So when I think about what's been funny this year,

watching myself and other people get caught in their patterns is pretty funny and not in a, fuck you kind of way. It's just, you know, like, look how absurd our human condition is. So that's, that's one of them. Wednesday nights in our house is the only night when Finn's with us that he doesn't have something on.

or I don't have something on, or Joe. So we make Wednesday nights is like a Mexican night. always cook Mexican. It's mostly like, yeah, we get some really nice enchiladas and do that. And then we normally have like play games, whether it's like cards or board games or, and the whole vibe of a Wednesday night is just fun. And it's hilarious because,

Rick Solocast (28:53.178)

We all pretend that we're not really competitive and we are all low key super competitive, but we don't like to admit it. And it shows up in funky ways when we're playing cards or games or a bit of banter and sledging. And yeah, it's that funny. I think it's like the Wednesday night permission just to be a bit goofy and relax and have fun. Yeah, we, our household enjoys the Wednesday night.

That's been really fun this year. The other thing when I thought about this, when I was doing this Good Bad Funny, funny has been...

taking a holiday and not being serious and actually just having a few beers during the day and enjoying ourselves and getting massages. And we went over to Bali. I've never been to Bali. It's never really piqued my interest, but we did it in a really nice way, if that's possible. And it was really fun. Yeah, so.

taking a break and actually enjoying life and relaxing and reading and having a few beers and yeah, that's been, that's been a really fun part of life this year, even though I didn't do much of it. I only kind of did it in little blocks. So I'm earmarking more of that for next year, which I'm sure everyone does, but it just, it just feels like fun. I think that's probably going to be the key thing over the Christmas break. I'm taking a couple of weeks off is like, I just want to have fun. I just want to,

laugh and enjoy myself. So yeah, that's good. and then I think the other, whether it's funny or fun, like I've, I've actually danced a bit this year and this is potentially embarrassing to admit.

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I used to love dancing in my twenties when like the party years I would like spend a lot of time on the dance floor. I'm sure if there's old video of that, it would look really bad, but I don't care. And then my friend Danny and I started the year this year. went to a, we used to hang out in the UK and do a bit of clubbing and we went to a drum and bass night up in Brisbane and just danced like old times for like five hours.

And my hips and my knees were so bad for the next week, but it was so much fun. It was just like that little 20 year old came out and was like, and I'm at an age where I don't really care what people think of me. If I'm a good dancer or a bad, I really don't care. It's just fun. And that happens. Then I did a couple of other little like went to a few little ecstatic dance events and stuff and they were fun and I really enjoy it. And my hips hurt, my knees after.

And then on residential, we did some movement stuff and there's just a part of me that actually really enjoys dancing. And I think I'm enjoying being at an age where I actually don't give a shit if you think I'm a good dancer or a bad dancer. So that little part of life has been really fun as well. fun, funny, I don't know, enjoyment, it all kind of fits under the one thing.

Yeah. And I don't know, I can think of all the different connections and relationships I have. there's probably a whole bunch of stories where there's been funny shit that's happened and we've laughed and, or I've done dumb shit this year and people have laughed at me. And I really enjoy that part of life. And I'm conscious that I can come across really serious and I can, I do like the

the depth, do like digging in the depth, but I'm also a fucking child most of the time. And I just like to banter and have fun. And yeah, so I think the funny part for me is just really, trying to lean into my playful side more this year. And I think I've done that. I've made an effort to do it and I've hopefully been able to do it.

Rick Solocast (33:20.802)

It's funny, I used to have a story that the version of me I put out into the world, like just through social media and emails and shit, is the really serious version. And I'm actually not like that most of the time. So yeah, I have this, weird story that, people think I'm really serious, but most people that know me in person in human life, know that I'm not. So yeah. And I think that's my good, bad funny for the year. So it's just over.

just over 30 minutes.

I really appreciate you taking the time just to hang out and listen to my stuff. as a part of me that, is a little bit exposed by not having a guest here and just talking about this stuff for ages. but as a part of me, it's like, no, it's fine. I'm, I'm embracing my imperfections. So, I think that's okay too. one thing I did want to mention.

In regards to the podcast is I've been thinking about what I want from this next year, because this year has been a bit of a trial and error test run. Do I, want, I wanted to get to 10 episodes and kind of reevaluate. We've done 12. There'll probably be 13 or 14 will come out this year before next year. And what I really enjoy about it is that it's not a commercial venture. So it's not.

to make money. It's not to promote other people to make money. It's not for me to promote something to make money. And I've really enjoyed the relief for me that's come from making this a commercial thing. So that will continue. Yeah, I don't have any intention to change that part of it. I really do enjoy getting feedback.

Rick Solocast (35:21.754)

from people and going, listened to that and I really related to that part of that person's story. that's kind of the premise really is to, to see which parts of your story you can hear in others and feel potentially more connected and not alone in, what you're going through. so yeah, I'm, I'm choosing not to like have people on that have big following so I can get exposed to their following all that sort of stuff. the.

that, you know, five ways to build your podcast kind of question to chat GBT.

And I would really love for this to be able to reach more people. I, by design or bad choice, have a relatively small influence network. I don't really like doing social media. So yeah, I'm gonna ask for your assistance. And part of that is if...

You like listening to this and you feel like there's one other human that you know would also like listening to this and just to share it with them. There's share links on all the, all the apps, but I mainly use Spotify. that's an easy way just to share the love. the stock standard like rate and follow and turn on notifications. Like, yeah, that's good. that's a bit of an easy one that takes one second. So if you haven't done that, appreciate that sort of stuff.

And then I want to just ask you a question. There's two parts to it. One is, I am willing, it feels super strange saying this. I am willing to go out and, do other people's podcasts next year. It's something that I kind of stood away from this year, but, I feel like I can, you know, place to go and do that next year. So if you've got anyone's podcast that you think, you would like me on, or I could have them on great.

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And then if you've got anyone, any human that you know, that you feel has a story that has value. And I'm really hesitant to say the V word of value because I think everyone's story has some inherent value. But, I feel like I could just talk, continue talking to people that I know, but I also want to just broaden that out a little bit. And, there's so many amazing people, everyday people that have amazing stories.

And, yeah, if you've got any suggestions of people or yourself, that want to come and hang out and on the couch and, and share some stories, then I'd love to hear any suggestions you have. And yeah, so that's the, that's the little bit of, request of help, I guess for next year. but, yeah, my goal is just to continue next year and put out an episode a week.

Sometimes like when the audio fucks up like this week that won't happen. I'd also be interested if you do like this solo version that, know, maybe I could chuck those in every now and again, but let me know. and yeah, we'll just continue to do the thing and it, it feels like it's a gift to me still. It feels like a gift to the guest and hopefully it feels like a gift to you to listen. So that's all I need, I think.

those three parties are all getting something. Hopefully. know I am. don't know that most of the guests are. So, we'll just keep rolling that way and see what happens. so thank you for listening. Thank you for hearing me out, to the end and have a great break. If I'm not putting anything else out in between now and then, but yeah, have a great break and hopefully you can, really embrace whatever.

support you over the holiday. whether that's fun, whether that's getting away from people, whether that's, doing some activities that make you smile, whatever it is that works for you. yeah, I hope that you get to have some time to do that and, yeah, enjoy the break and, come into next year with,

Rick Solocast (39:49.028)

with some nice energy to take on 2025 and put your spin on it. All right, that's me. Thank you. And I'll speak to you soon.